I am 26 this year and people say that I am still too young. I feel this uncomfortable when I was being compared with someone older. I always wonder why would people say things like “you’ll too young! You’ll understand it when you get older”. Why can’t they just say something else instead, maybe something like :”oh you’re actually mature for your age, but maybe think a bit less, things will slowly work out, don’t worry”
Try to imagine this scenario. You have watched so many movie, saw many romance in life, real romance. You see people dating, their date turns into relationship and they hold hands for many years, move in together and etc. When you try to talk about it to your friends and they keep saying that it would happen to you when the times come. That right person will come eventually
Then you have been through life for so many years that you have not experienced anything like it once in life.
Not even once
Then you start wondering: What if the time NEVER comes? What if it’s meant to be this way? To keep up your hope but your destiny has been designed for no one but you alone all the way till death?
Don’t get me wrong, I am not depressed but it all seems a bit sad when it turns out this way for real. I have seen relatives, friends, people I know that ends up alone and still alone. Maybe, I am that chosen one? Maybe that’s why everything never actually turns out right and all the dates ruined?
You see all your friends getting there one by one but you still seems to be standing at the same place forever. Maybe life is being a bit ironic and leading you on with false hope?
I know it is too many questions in this blog already but it is hard not to wonder, isn’t it?
I would love to have someone to hold and protect and warm him up on a cold night? Or getting a dog together? Or carrying him on my back and running on the beach at sunset. All those imaginary romantic scenes, will they happen? I don’t know anymore.
Maybe I watched too much movies. Maybe romance is only meant for the TV screen.
I keep on having one-sided crush one after another and nothing reaches the next stage. I have become this bold person that is running out of time. I bury myself in books and study to keep me busy and forget that false hope I create. Maybe it’s time to convince myself that it would never happen to me.
They say things happen when you least expect it. Well, I can say it would never happen to me.
Sometimes I feel pity and sorry for my own self as I see couple happy together. I could not help it but feel this big bulge of pain right inside the left side of my chest. I am just an ordinary person, no shinning, nothing special about me. Therefore, I don’t think I should expect anything more than just a normal life.
I’m pretty sure that there will be guys out there looking at me on the street and think I am good-looking. That’s no doubt. But maybe it will only end at that and nothing more. In the era of nowadays, no one makes any effort anymore, we all waiting for our right one to come naturally, being pushed into our palm. I do feel frustrated by this idea of the better one will come because if I see something I like I always strive to have it.
Just some thought for tonight
That’s all, good night!
Dear Handsome Stranger,Today I stalked your facebook again and it turns out you will be moving away from this city soon! I have not had a chance to speak of introduce myself to you yet.
I saw you long time ago for the first time and I thought you were brilliant, handsome, cute and Ive been stalking your facebook since then.
You always seem to have an amazing life surrounded by awesome people. I always wish and dream about sharing a piece of your life. However, I do realise sometimes some people are there, so close to me but I will never talk to. It is not because I don’t want to but because our thread of fate never twiddles.
You will be moving to a faraway city where the light seem to be brighter than here. There will be struggles but for a guy like you, even when I never talk to, from your smile, I know you would be fine.
I think you already had a boyfriend and you are way out of my league anyway. Will he be there for you in that faraway city? I hope he would hold your hand when you arrive🙂
Dear Handsome Stranger, I wish you all the best in life for whatever you will do. I hope your life would always be as amazing as it is now.
All the best for you.
With lots of admire,
PS. I admit it would be sad now as I will not stalk you anymore🙂 you have become a true dream, what I call ‘a reality becomes dream’.
Lunar New Year is never a good time for me. Since I was small I always feel sad when it comes to this time of the year. I carries the sadness in me since I was small as you can tell. I was never a totally care-free person. I love it, but I just feel sad, even sadder now it’s because I feel lonely around this time of the year… I miss the time when I was still innocent and have to think less. I miss everything…
Ngày xưa ơi, mùa xuân thuở còn ấu,
Tuổi còn nhỏ, tóc còn rối trên đầu,
Tâm còn mỏng, lòng còn vô tư lự,
Cái thời ông bà gọi ‘lũ trẻ trâu”…
I dream a dream, time goes by
A family by my side
Too much and too hard to ask for?
Feeling I was born not to thrive
Posted January 19, 2016on:
This poem is for a man in this world, for me, for us, we don’t hate him, we just feel sorry for him. We pray that, one day, he would find his right way and break free, just because that is the only way.
For all the man in the same situation, whether or not you’ve crossed the line, be brave and live true to yourself
My 22nd free-style English poem is for him…
Posted December 21, 2015on:
It has been a long time since I write another monthly blog. Read the rest of this entry »
I really want to do something and expressing my grief and sadness for the incidence that happened in Paris yesterday. What a horrible thing to happen in a beautiful city. Therefore, I composed my very first poem in French, with my clumpsy French beginner skills, I hope it does not sound too bad. Thanks Mogana, one of my best friend, to correct here and there for me in the poem.
All I want to say is the world stands with you Paris, please be strong, and let’s fight against terrorism! No one deserves to go through pain like this! I feel like crying when I read the news. I mourn for Paris.
Paris en deuil