NeverGiveUp_Boy's Blog

Hey all Readers,

It has been another year and before I write on, I want to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year early to all of you. I wish you health and happiness and all your dreams would come true in the new year.

The title of this blog is “window-shopping for one” because I have been window-shopped a lot lately. I used to be an impulse buyer if you know me. The reason is not because I am broke but because I could not find any ‘motivation’ to buy anything anymore.

In other word, my whole soul is in drought at the moment.

Recently I have been reading a lot, study on myself a lot for the upcoming GAMSAT exam in March. I want to put all my effort into it this time. It feels a lot like university time again. I work almost full time, got home, went swimming or gym, then had dinner and get to my desk and study according to my own timetable of subjects I have to cover. I also have a lot of self-reflect time when I am alone. I realist a lot of things this year:

-It is extremely hard to get into medicine after you graduate and work because you forget a lot of the knowledge required. I kind of swim in this vast sea of knowledge which I need to get into my head as much as possible. I decided to not give up and put everything else outside my priority except studying, work and my health and fitness. I have been holding on for more than 3 years, trying to get into medicine because deep inside I feel it is the right thing to do. I will not give up!

-Money cannot buy anything. This is a typical saying but it stands against time for a reason. In life, you hear a lot of these popular sayings that everyone teaches their kids and give advice to their friends and family. However, you will never truly understand it until something big makes an impact on your life, then suddenly the words echo against your inner soul and you becomes a new person, truly, deeply understand the meaning of these sayings. Money cannot buy me knowledge. As much as I can dress up nice, I am still the same person underneath, trying to save money, trying to make a living, trying to get into medicine, and by all means, not rich! So I have no reason to give out the impression that I am. I have been bulking up from gym so I grew out in size for a lot of my old clothes. I have been buying replacements, but my goût has totally changed. I bought durable but simple coloured clothes that I can wear anywear, anytime, and easy to mix together as well as comfortable. Casual. Plain. Almost bland. I do not want to stand out on the street with bright and colourful shirts anymore because inside I feel that I am still dull and need a lot of polish. I am still in progress with my masterpiece.

-Looking at famous people like Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg, what do they have in common about the way they look? The answer is: simple! They never look flashy. I am not trying to mimic them but the more I read and study, the less I think outfit matters. I walked around the city, went to my favourites stores, try on clothes and shoes, then put them back and walk out. For the last few times, I only touch or look at the clothes from outside, smile and walk away feeling great. I told myself: have you ran out of things to wear? Have you ever have to go outside naked? No? Then walk away! I learned to save money this way and I feel extremely content and happy that my inner soul has toughen up. I do not say much when I meet friends anymore. I rarely post pictures of my face on instagram. I only share things that I think will benefit others, will inspire others or will help them in someway. I stop following instagram accounts that seems to show off a lot of their owner’s faces. That is narcissism and attention-seeker. That! is not good! I do not need it.

I believe if I am a good person, it will shine through my personality and people will see it without me having to try hard to show it. I don’t need to show myself anymore. A lot of my parent’s teaching have rung through recently. When it does, I call them and tell them and I thank them for teaching me those. They have been teaching me since I was a kid, but that true moment when you experience it in your own life, you feel very grateful that your parents have taught you. Hence, I think it is essential that I thank them again for something that I have been taking for granted for so long.

‘The majority of the things we bought is our desires, not our needs” – My Mom always tell me and I have never experience this until now. I am very happy that I have changed in a good way. I have been more matured this year.