NeverGiveUp_Boy's Blog

Many of us would think Valentine Day is to show love for someone. However, has any of you actually think that someone can be anyone? Even yourself? Now go buy yourself some chocolate or your favourite treats, eat and read on.

I have lived in this life for more than 28 years, and I think I am lucky to realised a few things at this age. These things might be those cliché ones that you have heard your parents, your friends or so many inspiring people speak about. Nonetheless, have you ever wondered why they are repeated for so many times by so many people? Because it takes time for an individual to realise certain things in life by his or her true self. In other words, we hear a moral lesson spoken to us by our parents, but we does not necessary believe or agree with it, or we are at a bubbly age, too self-centred and such big ego to accept. Once we reach a certain age, cliché lessons become reality for us, and it suddenly just clicks. Yep. “I understood it now” – we think. Automatically.

1) We cannot compare ourselves with others.

It is not easy to do this, but this is probably the most important point in life. Certain people has their time in achieving certain goals and successes in life. It might be due to the constitutions of each of our individual life. I said it is better explained by fate. Why? Because it is sort of ‘unexplainable” so fate is a good enough reason.

I have a friend who is in medicine school and he knows I want to become a doctor and still trying to go. He keeps asking me when I am going to get into medicine. At first, I keep saying I don’t know until one day, I completely ignore the question because really, I don’t know. It is a plan yes. But it is a big plan, a life-changing one. I might get into med school next year, or my fate never allow me and I never meant to be a doctor. I used to think and torture myself about it. However, I have come to realise that if I meant to become one, it will come eventually, it might not be my time yet. All I can do is try my best for the moment.

Trying your best does not mean beating yourself up in study or work. It just means trying your own best. Do put effort into it, but if you’re tired and exhausted, by all means, go to sleep or rest. Everyone has a limit and it is all different. We never get anywhere better when we are out of power and running down.

Last thing: when you want something bad enough, the universe will try it best to give it to you. Believe this and keep going in life, at anything!

2. We need to save more money. I mean much much more.

I have to say I am a spender. I like several things even though I don’t earn that much. And I realise I have to admit it to improve myself. I work for many years but don’t have much at all in saving account. I am trying my best this year to save. I spent all the money my parents gave me when I was in highschool and uni and I feel extremely regret about it. I have flaws and I admit.

Some people are luckier than others that they are born in rich family. This does not mean your parents are not good, it is again, just fate, your parents have tried their very best, same as my parents, to raise me and you, and give us a fulfil life, and we should be proud of them and appreciate it. Now we can move on to the next realisation: we just have to try harder if we are not rich.

Life is never fair. Accept it! Move on! Then realise we need to save more money. We cannot have all the things in the world, so better save it up for big things later. It can be when we are sick, for a house, for a new laptop. I understand so much the feeling of broken. I have been broke before, despite having a good job, and the feeling is horrible. I feel worthless, totally like a loser in life. Especially in a society that values money more than characteristics, the feeling is amplified to an unbearable level.

Having spent my parent’s money for almost all my life, it is come to a time when I realise saving is absolutely necessary. This is a problem with kid (like me) who were born when my family is wealthy, when I can’t appreciate money as much as my siblings. However, I have realised the right way.

Learn to walk into your favourite shop, browse all your want, but do not buy. If you stay in the shop long enough, the hype will die down and you won’t feel the urge to buy anymore. I have not totally control myself yet, but I am getting there. Having a chunk of money saved up, you will feel so much safer yourself, because you know there are back up if something unfortunate happen.

Start a spending diary, track what you spend. You don’t have to stop all at once, but you can reduce months by months, try to spend less than last month. Eventually, you can narrow it down to the absolute essentials.

3. Social media is toxic and live your own life, not someone else. I repeat that: LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE, AND OWN YOUR OWN LIFE! 

Yes, it is! And there is no immediate antidote for it. Human is an easy to be influenced kind. Hence, there are “influencers” on Instagram. They are, as the word said, bare “influencer”, try to influence eveyone with their lifestyles. However, their real lives have been through as many filters as their own pictures, that you will never know the true life they are living.

We need to accept one more thing: each of us live our own life. No one can live our lives for us so we better get out of that illusional social media world and start living in reality. The early you do it, the better.

I do use my own instagram and facebook a lot. However, I try to put out positive and inspiring contents or sometimes funny ones. I try to lessen the amount of vanity posts. No one wants to see your face over and over again in every single Insta-square pictures! And keep the meat inside, it then shows more dignity to yourself. Posting almost naked pictures are a way of showing your insecurity and needing validation from outside, while you yourself should know how much you’re worth (the answer is: you’re valuable and have no price because you’re unique and be proud of that). We do not need to show our body for a few likes. Being gay, this is extremely hard I must say, since the gay world is filled with lost gays who are succumbed to the act of finding outside validation, but coated it with inspirational quotes or random captions. This needs to stop, but we all know it never will, sadly.

Live your own life. Realise it now! Don’t get caught up in illusional social media world. You have a whole life to take care off. You will never be that rich kid, you will never be that born-genius, you cannot change how much money you have magically, except working and saving it up. Wake up and live your own life because no one else can live it for you. Share it with someone when you have hardship, but don’t expect them to give you the answer or solve it, it is simply not their lives! Now go read this paragraph one more time before you move on.

Instead, if you are to use social media, post something that you can share with someone, your friends, your family. Something make them laugh, make them feel good, or ignite interest in them, something informational, share your books, share your workout so they can try, inspire them to be more kind to themselves, be healthier, be fitter, or simply tell them you love them on this Valentine day.

4. Do not sugar-coat problems ever!

If we know we have flaws, we admit it and we try to fix it or improve it.

I know we live in a society that try to sugarcoat every problem we have or blame it to someone else.

There is only one solution to problem: fix it! When I face a problem, I need to know two things: why it happens, and then how to solve it from here. Apply this to your life and life becomes much simpler. Don’t get indulge in sugar-topping to your problem such as “oh but you’ve done your best” or “it is not your fault”. It might not be our fault, but why does that matter, we have a problem to fix right? So the earlier we get on and try to figure out how to fix it, the more time we save!

5. The final point: do not chase love! (Let it chase you if it exists for you)

This is the hardest point to write about, especially on Valentine Day. However, it is true.

I used to be sad about not having a date or boyfriend on Valentine Day or any other special day of the year that you suppose to spend with your lovers. However, now I accept that, again, the time is not yet come for me. It might never come even. I do have one of the most important person to love on Valentine’s Day, apart from my friends and family: myself!

Be more kind to yourself, don’t feel bad if you never have a boyfriend or girlfriend before, because I never neither. I am a relationship-virgin! The romance never comes for me before. I am happy though because I have seen my friends cry over romance, and I have beaten myself up before as well over some random crushes. Just forget about it and live a good day, a good life. Maybe it will come, maybe it won’t still. But at least you know you have lived a good life, for yourself and for others.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! Love yourself more!